Silence Isn’t Golden

Preface

Is silence golden? A question I have repeatedly asked myself as I’ve researched and observed the slow demise of our right to speak up in disagreement, over the last few years. Today’s entry is rated PG-13, for graphic depictions of horror and violence, used to describe the inane and appalling self-destruction by suicidal tendencies of our democratic rights of freedom of speech. Read at your own discretion.

The “Silence Is Golden” Mantra

Most have sat, popcorn in hand, a dripping with condensation Coke in the cup holder, as the movie cinema’s lights dim and the all too familiar banner flashes on the screen, “Silence is Golden”.

Although the banner is used to impress upon the minds of the viewers a sense of social civility to sit quietly as the movie plays to avoid disturbing one’s neighbor, today, that message is often only observed by a silent majority.

On the flip-side, one finds a loud-mouthed, systemically spoiled, ungrateful, and obnoxious minority, blind to the message or the meaning behind such a banner and who intentionally use it as a justifiable excuse to raise their shrill voices high above the playing movie and assert that, although they are able to read and understand the basic tenet of the banner, will not sit idly by under such an unlawful pretense as being quiet so that others can enjoy their night out unaccosted by another’s noise.

In fact, the very thought that, by acknowledging such a request, they are perhaps, counting themselves as second to their neighbor and accommodating a nameless, faceless crowd of, most likely, racist, prejudice, and judgy individuals unworthy of their silence, is abhorrent to them, and to counteract and protest their resentment, they deliberately up the ante and make as much noise as possible, despite ruining their own movie-watching experience, because they paid good money and they aren’t going to waste it worrying about the hypocritical populace they are, unfortunately, surrounded and oppressed by.

As I imagine most have observed this behavior outside of the movie theater as well as within, I will assume that my metaphor here is clear.

The Magic of Silence

It’s a bit of a novelty now to have grown up in an era without internet, tablets, cell phones, and information at the tip of one’s finger. Personally, I find that a little sad.

Silence used to be something everyone endured or enjoyed, especially on the toilet, and if one was lucky enough, they had remembered to put decent types of literature in the bathroom so as to avoid the silent thumb twirling that inevitably ensued without it.

As I often forgot to prepare with proper literature, I was well acquainted with the deafening silence, as well as the information on the shampoo, conditioner, and soap dispenser bottles. If only the marketers back then had realized the influence such information could have, and was having, on silent toilet-goers everywhere, they may have put more effort into their descriptions. But I digress.

When I was a child, my family and I went days without hearing the noise of the television or radio. Music required effort to play, and was mostly stationary. When I was gifted my first Walkman, the novelty of shutting out the world around me with music was more of a silent statement of “Leave me to my thoughts,” than a “Now I can blast my music for all to hear” power play for attention.

Silence used to be an acceptable part of daily life, and in fact it was also enjoyable.

Individual thoughts could be heard, pondered on, and sorted out during the silence. There wasn’t anything to distract one from immersing in contemplating whatever they like—science, the purpose of life, the bugs on the ground, or how hot or cold it was, and oddly enough, the simplest thoughts were often the most profound and comforting.

During the summer months of my ninth and tenth years, I was a bit obsessed with building forts. As the oldest of five children, our home was often full of noise and the hubbub of daily life. I took refuge in the silence of working on creating potential clubhouse-spaces where one could be whoever and say whatever they liked without the mob of parents and siblings interfering.

In the silence of those building projects, my mind would wander, and in many ways, I became more of myself—a singular, sovereign entity—because I had quiet days alone with my soul.

As an adult, technology is, at times, a bit of a menace to my peace and to my sovereignty.

However helpful the access to information is—with a quick scribble and swipe I’m reading Einstein, endlessly scrolling nonsensical rubbish, fact-checking my husband’s claims, catching up on current global events, or connecting with family miles away, sometimes simultaneously—the constant glut of added noise and the unending flow of content has become more and more of a burden, rather than a resource; a burden, which has either accelerated me toward a greater form of stupidity or a more enlightened and informed languidity. The jury is still out.

In my youth, I wouldn’t have imagined the information inundation I would have to endure as an adult, and the personal mastery it would take to deny the raging torrent exasperatingly seeking to gain full and total access to my mind and heart, and consequently, my bank account.

Silence is, sadly and unbeknownst to the current and up in coming generations, golden and magical. It is a balm, a hideaway, and a beautiful force for good in this strained and over-informed world.

Except when it’s not.

Is silence golden?

Yes, I admit, I have shushed noisy people in the cinema.

Noise during a movie used to be a rare occurrence. A child or a parent trying to care for a child, whispers, scuffling around, someone heading to the bathroom, were all normal and expected noises when surrounded by a hundred and fifty people in a room together. It’s part of the movie-going experience, as is clapping and laughing at the appropriate moments.

People go to the movies to experience the drama, the comedy, and all that is the arts, with their fellow members of society. There is a sense of camaraderie about it. If the movie is good, the viewers may feel a form of fellowship and community, like they’ve been through something together.

A good movie, or even a bad one, sparks conversation and emotion. It’s normal to be moved and for the mood of the audience to swell and sway with the intensity levels of the story. Sound is a normal part of the experience.

The “Silence is Golden” banner was not meant to discourage proper and considerate participation or to snuff out ambient human noise. It was designed to remind every person within the theater to be conscientious of how their noise will affect the atmosphere and enjoyment of the movie for all; and as all have paid the same price to be there, it only makes sense that everyone should try and make the experience positive for themselves and their neighbor as well.

However, there has been a significant change in the movie-going atmosphere in recent years. Where ambient noises were expected, it’s difficult to avoid less subtle forms of noise.

There is the all too obliviously curious individual who has opinions or questions about the movie and without thought for the other hundred and forty-nine paying customers surrounding them, will share their inert opinions and pose their countless questions, not in a whisper but in a voice for all to hear, as if they were sitting on their couch in their own living room.

Then there are the well-meaning or not so well-meaning parents who haven’t a single care or worry about how their children’s outbursts upset the general movie experience. In fact, they handle them like they do at home, with apathy or with a tonal level that suggests the entire audience should be privy to their familial drama instead of being wrapped up in the movie’s drama.

I’ve personally had the worst kind of movie-goers sit next to me with their smart phones out, lighting at maximum, blinding everyone in a twenty-foot radius, talking over the movie about who knows what, and are appalled when someone asks them to put their phones away and be quiet so everyone can enjoy the movie equally.

For some reason, these types of people hold their personal needs, perspectives, and expressions in higher regard than everyone else’s, and this minority of people, if the silent observers around them continue to remain silent, will fast take over the position of majority, if not by virtue of their numbers, then certainly by virtue of their obnoxious displays.

This bizarre, social phenomenon is not only observable in our places of entertainment, but has infiltrated every walk of life, from the supermarket to the streets; blatant disregard for social niceties with condescending imperialism is now an alarmingly growing norm, regardless of the amount others have paid for the niceties all enjoy.

From Silence, To When The Bell Tolls

Taking this metaphor even further, from watching a movie to being in it, and not just any movie, but one of horrific proportion. 

The tables have been flipped in such a way as to toss the idea of social decorum and social grace completely on its head.

Now, the mannerly majority are expected to sit in silence while the wailing, bemoaning, beseeching and hostile minority have their cake and eat it too—a lip-smacking, gaping-mouthed, disgusting and unsavory display of systemic mastication.

Like Lord Denethor, in Lord of the Rings, chomping his way through his food, after sending his own son and hundreds of soldiers to die in vain, to satisfy his own arrogant pride, the masses grotesquely grind and gnash, as bitterness drips from their open mouths and rage squishes out between their revenge infested teeth.

The repulsive exhibitions of tyrannical, open-mouthed social mastication by the ill-mannered, crude, and overbearing are, ironically, pushed and shoved around in their savage mouths with inflamed and engorged tongues of antithetical, polarising ideals.

When one of the silent observers, temporarily breaks their silence to gently remind the chomping mob to close their mouths while they are chewing, they are attacked with a giant ink-like cloud of over-turned manners of snorting, barking, and biting, the likes of which most decent people have only ever seen in movies, like Old Yeller, with deranged, rabid dogs. 

The bewildering plot thickens when, like a rotund and spoiled child, glutted its whole life on cakes and candy, the vocal minority when denied their say cry with crocodile tears, “Unfair!” and “Inhumane!” as they rupture the belly of another body of social livestock—often someone who disagreed with them—and begin gorging and feasting on its entrails while the silent majority, unable to take their eyes off the horror, watch dumb-struck as more helpless, unsuspecting, freedom-loving zebras jump into the jaws of these over-indulged, social-reforming human crocodiles, like its a wild animal docuseries, or worse, a self-destructing horror flick, where the victims go looking for the masked murderer to be sliced and diced as soon as possible.

Twitter, amongst other social media platforms, have become the over-infested watering holes for this herd of enraged, raving, crocodile-like barbarians asserting with their clubs drawn that they prefer to be referred to as pious do-gooders and conscientious thought police, not the serial killers of freedom of speech they have become.

Unfortunately, to counteract the scenes of horror masquerading as tolerance and anti-racism, but are more like a scene from IT with a menacing Pennywise as their mascot, bringing back civility will take more than charitably side-stepping the mob when it tramples everything in its way looking for another unwitting victim to slaughter and digest.

With the often confusing plot twists and the constant unhappy endings for more than one murdered freedom of speech victim, being in the movie but not of the movie is a sensation felt by more than one surprised and trusting, self-proclaimed, liberal viewer.

Silence is NOT golden

Mannerly, polite silence when our freedom of speech is being threatened, is not golden.

Sitting idly by in a stupefied state of wonder and alarm is not enough to return our society to a state of tolerable harmony.

Hiding behind a Christ-like guise of empathetic charity by coddling or excusing the contentious fray will not stem the tide of corruption that will, in its wake, rob the Christians of their places to worship their high moral values of charitable understanding and forgiveness.

Walking alongside the hostile crowds and pretending to shake one’s fist at the heaven’’s, corporate greed, the government’s growing military complex, Trump, racism, gender bias, or whatever is popular at the moment—cowardly disguised as one of them but secretly disowning their kind—will not protect the unity, liberty for all, or the liberal democratic system once held dear, from the raging mob’s primitive scrutiny and blind ambitions for self-destruction.

The thundering herds of bipolar, inane, crazed and boar-ish social cannibals will pilfer and ransack, without prejudice or intelligent discernment, every institution, social structure, and political platform the silent majority hold dear if good, polite, and conscientious people continue to play it safe, protecting their already deteriorating reputations with an ethical and respectful silence.

Not one holy and righteous person is safe against the scrutiny of those who delight in lies, fabricate falsehoods, and glut themselves on unforgiving justice and malignant hate.

Those who believe their actions and liberal ethics place them firmly out of reach or protected from the ministry of truth’s prying eyes are deluded with a sense of ignorant superiority or naive obliviousness. You can’t outrun the reaper when your time is up.

Silence, A Form Of Consent

Speaking up is terrifying, especially in this modern age of cancel-everything-culture that is using devastating devices to rob the so-called truth-offenders (which could be anyone of us) of career and credibility because the offenders have the audacity to claim rights to speak up under a, now regarded, quaint and unpopular, colonialist presentment, of free speech.

However unnerving the possibility of being hauled away to the stocks for public ridicule and denigration may be, the real terror is found in good people remaining quiet while other good people are being put on the masticating chomping block to be arbitrarily and systemically condemned to social cannibalism, publicly flogged and humiliated, left alone and friendless, because they spoke up and said no, while the silent majority are too busy being charitable and forgiving or are too afraid of the judgment of bullies over that of their own conscience to speak up in solemn support.

My own years of silence were, to say the least, morally and emotionally deteriorating.

Unfortunately, I understand, more than most, what it is to be put under public scrutiny over standing up for one’s supposed rights, and the post traumatic stress one endures from such an encounter does not dispel easily. But, that’s a story for another day.

Despite my inclination to “sit with a drink in hand and watch the world burn,” I shared in another entry, the war on individual sovereignty and social decency is one I can’t ignore.

Today, I am simply stressing the need, the desperate need, for good people to say no, more often, in their own and simple ways, to the social bullying that has now become societal cannibalism.

Yes, it would be counterproductive for good people to toss out their good values in order to meet the mob on its own terms, with just more pitchforks and fire-laden torches. Yes, good people need to speak out in such a way that allows them to maintain and continue to foster and nurture their values. 

Certainly, I am not suggesting that Christian or liberal values, like forgiveness, compassion, or empathy are the problem here. Nor am I suggesting that because good people often choose NOT to speak up because they wish to protect their careers and their families from the social butcher’s block, that they are bad or apathetic.

However, I am suggesting that if a person has felt inclined by conscience to speak up and has used any number of excuses, like Christian or liberal values or fear of being attacked, to justify their silence when others are paying the price for the freedom they, themselves, are so undeserving of, they are, like myself, in danger of moral, ethical, and emotional deterioration, and will, if their freedoms are lost, look back on their cowardice with guilt and shame.

In other words, if one cancels one’s own truth to justify remaining silent during the canceling of another by the cannibalistic social mobs, leaving the victim(s) alone and friendless in order to protect oneself, civility and everything that is good, beautiful, upright, and virtuous, will eventually be cancelled as well. 

No amount of silence can or will defend or uphold liberty, and it is fundamentally foolish to believe one’s silent desires for freedom will be heard or protected.

How to break the silence

How does one turn golden silence into a proper, courageous voice of reason, without compromising values of courtesy, civility, or sanity to do so?

Because we are all different, and our values, personalities, and ethics, are unique, it would be inappropriate to devise a formulaic approach to supporting or protesting cancel-culture or social cannibalism.

Instead, perhaps the simplest way is just to commit to do it.

When one feels called to speak, speak. When one witnesses unwarranted oppression, speak in whatever way feels correct. But don’t remain silent.

My family and I have discussed many times over the years how some of our biggest regrets, the deep-seated ones, stem from moments of cowardly silent consent in a situation that required courage and selflessness.

Most who read this are already speaking up as they are able. Thank you for your example to me and to others.

There is—as those who speak up find—no applause or awards for unpopular opinions. In fact, most often, when one speaks up they will be met with derision, or at the very least, disagreement.

My one solace in speaking up when my soul guides, is that someone will feel as I do when respectable people speak their minds, a little less alone.

In fact, the courage of others has given me courage. If I could, I would publicly applaud every person who has, without cause or concern for their own lives, shared the truth the way they saw it to protect, not only those who were in harms way, but to protect the sanctity and gift that is our freedom of speech.

Conclusion

Most people know how to sit quietly and be polite, especially in the movies. It’s why movie-going is so fun! For that brief time, because of conscientious silence, when the lights are dimmed, popcorn is plentiful, and the movie plays, the viewers are able to share in a new reality, transported through time and space, and to feel a little more connection with the strangers they bump into every day, but rarely interact with.

The goal of silence is, more often than not, to create a sense of well-being and harmony, and to avoid promoting contention, even in a movie theater. Silence, conscientious silence, advocates good will in the form of mutual understanding and respect under many circumstances.

Personally, I remained silent for so long, even at dinner parties with friends or family, because I didn’t want to further hostility or contention. It’s not because I’m so altruistic. I’m not. It’s because I prefer peace to conflict, it’s easier to navigate one’s emotions through. I imagine others can relate.

However, contention IS already happening, regardless of whether or not I, or anyone else, are silently trying hard NOT to contribute to it.

Speaking up to protect our vulnerable freedom of speech is no longer a question of, “Will I create more contention by saying what I think?”

Speaking up, is one’s right and privilege, and without that right, contention will ultimately prevail.

Freedom is hard-earned and even harder to preserve. Our freedom of speech is on the social cannibals chopping block, and without the silent majority opening their mouths and speaking up to ensure those freedoms remain, we will, inevitably and justifiably, lose the right to do so.

Speak up! Speak out! Say something in place of nothing. Silence is no longer golden, except maybe, in a movie theater.

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